May 2012
nnonnahss:
k-n-a-s-t-y:
tsarcasm:
according to USA Today, the average tumblr user spends 2.5 hours a month on tumblr
oops
more like 2.5 hours a day
more like 2.5 hours an hour
Everything is pissing me off so much now. What the fuck?? Can’t I have a simple life for a day?
I give up.
My Friend: Wow you're good at that
Me: Lol no
My Friend: And modest
Me: hahah no go away
billiejoeisaburrito:
thorgy:
hentaiavenger:
...
kecleonqueen:
if any website should have a post limit it should be facebook
thirty-seconds-to-pigfarts:
...
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
this is your chance to invade my privacy! (:
1: ＨＯＷ ＭＡＮＹ ＷＡＳＰＳ ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＥＡＴ ＯＮ Ａ ＤＡＩＬＹ ＢＡＳＩＳ.
2: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＳＡＴＥ ＹＯＵＲ ＢＬＯＯＤＬＵＳＴ ＢＹ ＳＬＡＵＧＨＴＥＲＩＮＧ ＴＨＥ ＩＮＮＯＣＥＮＴ.
3: ＷＨＥＮ ＷＡＳ ＴＨＥ ＬＡＳＴ ＴＩＭＥ ＹＯＵ ＣＲＡＶＥＤ ＴＨＥ ＦＬＥＳＨ ＯＦ Ａ ＶＩＲＧＩＮ ＣＨＩＬＤ.
4: ＨＯＷ ＭＡＮＹ ＳＯＵＬＳ ＨＡＶＥ ＹＯＵ ＣＯＲＲＵＰＴＥＤ ＩＮ ＯＵＲ ＤＡＲＫ ＬＯＲＤ'Ｓ ＮＡＭＥ.
5: ＴＯ ＷＨＯＭ ＡＲＥ ＹＯＵ ＬＯＹＡＬ.
6: ＷＨＥＮ ＷＡＳ ＴＨＥ ＬＡＳＴ ＴＩＭＥ ＹＯＵＲ ＴＡＳＴＥ ＢＵＤＳ ＳＡＶＯＲＥＤ ＢＬＯＯＤ.
7: ＨＯＷ ＭＡＮＹ ＳＡＣＲＩＦＩＣＥＳ ＨＡＶＥ ＹＯＵ ＭＡＤＥ ＴＨＩＳ ＷＥＥＫ.
8: ＣＡＮ ＹＯＵ ＣＯＵＮＴ ＴＨＥ ＴＥＡＲＳ ＴＨＡＴ ＴＨＥ ＭＯＴＨＥＲＳ ＹＯＵ'ＶＥ ＭＵＲＤＥＲＥＤ ＨＡＶＥ ＳＨＥＤ.
9: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＣＲＡＶＥ ＴＨＥ ＰＯＷＥＲ ＴＯ ＥＮＤ ＡＬＬ ＷＯＲＬＤＳ.
10: ＨＡＩＬ ＳＡＴＡＮ.
france: ten
france: twenty
france: thirty
france: forty
france: fifty
france: sixty
france:
france:
france: sixty ten
world: france what are you do—
france: four twenties
world: france stop it
france: four twenties ten
world: france that doesn't even make any sense
france:
france:
france:
world:
france:
world:
france: hundred.
Reading a fanfic
Author: leaves out punctuation
Me: nope
Me: leaves
day off: tumblr
need to study: tumblr
shitty weather: tumblr
wonderful and sunny weather: tumblr
plans with other people: tumblr
in class: tumblr
supposed to be sleeping: tumblr
on the bus: tumblr
the apocalypse: tumblr
during my own funeral: tumblr
tumblr: tumblr
tumblr isn't working: stare at tumblr until it does
JUST ANOTHER FAGGOT WHO WANTS TO GET FAMOUS.: Mini... →
ashleypurdysoutlaws: You do not need to tag a photo of yourself with everything in the room.
You do not need to tag a photo of yourself with “black veil brides” if you have a black veil brides shirt on or if you can kinda see a black veil brides poster.
You do not need to tag a photo…
pimpwentz:
deathbyhiatus:
face it youre never gonna make it
thanks a lot ray wow asshole
i dont care who you are i will read your read more
queerard:
i was the third grader that made everyone spell “icup”
theyellovvbrickroad:
im going to name my kid pregnant so they can be like “hi im pregnant” and everyone will stand there all mortified
stillslydgn:
losing your anal virginity in the pit at a concert
infinityonsigh:
infinityonsigh:
i have engraved “pete wentz is a faggot” into every desk ive ever sat at in school and today in assembly our whole year was asked “who here likes pete wentz” and i alMSOT CRIED because i thought they had him in for a visit or s/t and i was liKE I DO OFMG and then they gave me a detention and made me write an essay about why vandalism is wrong
for all u...
#PotentialFallOutBoySongTitles
americansuitehearts:
